Title: Five Times Arthur's Sneezes Embarrassed Him and One Time They Embarrassed Merlin
Author: tarotgal
Fandom: Merlin
Rating: NC-17
Pairings: Merlin/Arthur, Merlin/Lancelot/Percival/Gwaine/Arthur
Disclaimer: This is a fanwork. I received no money personally for its creation nor am I affiliated with Merlin.
Summary: In which Arthur catches a lot of colds and Merlin does a lot of lusting after him.
Word count: 15,100
Author Notes: Written for Mr. Ticklynoses as a thank you for donating on my fundraising page for the Walk to End HIV. The requirement was an 11,500 word fic but, once again, I got a bit carried away when writing.

 

Four

Merlin had been numb with cold before, but this was a little different. He couldn't move. He couldn't breathe. And if he couldn't, he knew Arthur definitely couldn't. Trying his best to not panic, Merlin gathered up what little strength he had and channeled it right into his magic. Slowly... painfully slowly... the snow around him melted enough for him to have use of his arms. As it continued to melt, Merlin dug, coughing and sniffling, as his head emerged. Then he dug harder and faster at a feverish pace, the snow melting bit by bit around him.

Around them both. Merlin saw the hood of Arthur's cloak, followed by a bit of blond hair. Merlin dug and tugged, pulled and shoveled, until Arthur was mostly free of the snow. Was he breathing? Merlin couldn't tell as he yanked Arthur free, falling back onto the snow, breaking their fall with his own body.

Magic drained Merlin of energy on a normal day. But on a day when he already had a cold... he stood no chance. He tried to wriggle free, but Arthur was too heavy and too warm on top of him to budge. Merlin felt consciousness slip away from him and embraced the restful, welcome darkness.

When Merlin opened them again, he found himself huddled by a fire with Arthur's cloak around him. Merlin sat up, blinking, sniffing. “Are you all right?” he asked.

“Fine. No thanks to you,” said Arthur, throwing a fresh log onto the fire.

Merlin's brow furrowed. Had he or had he not pulled Arthur from certain death? He had a distinct memory of it.

“After we survived the avalanche, I had to carry you halfway down the mountain so safer ground. You were shivering in my arms, so I built a fire. It's been hours, I thought you'd never wake up.”

Merlin felt like going back to sleep already. His eyes were tired. His body hurt, probably because the urgent digging had been so hard, taken so much out of him. Shifting so much snow so quickly was enough to drain anyone. But he wouldn't have had to do that at all if it hadn't been for someone's especially loud sneeze that had brought the mountain's wrath down on them both.

It had been one of the only times Merlin hadn't been thrilled to hear Arthur sneeze. And this... just now... was going to be another.

“hahh...” Arthur's nose twitched so adorably though, telling Merlin he felt a sneeze coming on, something strong and uncontrollable, something that was going to sound amazing and Merlin had better be ready for it.

“Arthur...” Merlin looked around, warily. They were under trees, but still surrounded by snow. Surely they were still on the mountainside somewhere. Which meant it was still a terrible idea to sneeze. “Perhaps you shouldn't sneeze again.”

But that was like telling a fish not to swim or a bird not to fly or a certain servant not to lust after his cold-ridden King. It was going to happen. It was inevitable. “HAHHH... HAH-AHHH-AHHHHHH-URSCHUKKKKKUHHHHH!” The sneeze, though strong, did not make the ground shake or the snow slide down to meet them. It made Merlin warm with desire and made Arthur sniff miserably, but that was it. This time.

“Bless you,” said Merlin. “At least we were saved from an avalanche that time.”

“That wasn't my fault.”

Merlin just stared at Arthur, the disbelief palpable.

And Arthur's red cheeks revealed he didn't really believe what he was saying. “You've got this cold as well. It could have been your sneezes that triggered the avalanche.”

“My sneezes?” Merlin had to laugh. “My sn... my sneh... my-ehhhh... ehh-ehngxxstttt!” He buried his sneeze in the crook of his arm and turned his head back and forth, wiping it before lifting his head. “My sneezes couldn't hurt a fly.”

Arthur rubbed at his nose, a strange expression on his face. Merlin almost laughed to himself when he realized Arthur was actually lost in thought. It was actually a good look on him—wrinkles on his forehead, head cocked to the side, a slightly vacant expression, and those kissable lips slightly open. “I can sneeze like you do.”

Merlin did laugh this time. “Forgive me, but I don't believe you can. Your sneezes are just too...” There were a thousand words Merlin wanted to use to finish that sentence, among them: sexy, brilliant, astounding, overpowering, and sexy again.

“Loud?”

Merlin nodded. That would do well enough. Plus, he didn't really feel well enough to fight Arthur on this. “Do you really think you can?” Merlin sniffed and shivered and suddenly found Arthur at his side, ducking under the cloak and moving in close to warm him. The only good part of having a head cold was sharing it with Arthur.

“I'm a king. If I want my sneezes to sound quieter, I'll do it. Can't be that hard to stifle them, right? It's just a matter of pushing them to the back of my throat and holding the release in. I bet I can make mine even quieter than yours.” He wiggled his nose, as if trying to invite a sneeze, though all it did was make Merlin hot. Not the sort of hot you got when someone snuggled up to your side but the sort you got when someone with amazing sneezes threatened to sneeze right then and there. “Except... huh... hnnn... huh... No. Sniff! How can I practice when I can't... hah... huhhhhh... huh-hnnn! Eh! Hehh! Hnnn! Uhh...” He sighed, shaking his head. Then he buried his face against Merlin's neck and spoke words that whispered against Merlin's skin. “Merlin... do you know a way to make me sneeze?”

Merlin nearly died. Just like that. All the magical attacks, all the adventures, all the slaving around doing mundane tasks for Arthur over the years and what nearly did him in were those little words and Arthur's warm, heavy body and slightly wet nose. All Merlin could do was nod. He feared any word out of him would sound like a whimper and reveal too much of his interests. He leaned to the side and plunged his hand into a snowdrift. For the second time that day, he dug down, searching. And what he found was the ground beneath.

Not just dirt and rocks, though there was some of that, but grass. It was nearly brown and frozen, but dormant and lying in wait for the springtime. Merlin plucked a few pieces and held one up in front of Arthur's face. “Do you trust me?”

Arthur nodded and sniffed so that his nostrils flared widely, invitingly. Merlin's whole body wibbled and burned with need as he inserted the piece of grass into Arthur's nose. Arthur gave a sharp gasp and his eyes began to water. But it wasn't until Merlin started wiggling the piece around that the build-up started. “heh! Eh!”

“Now, when the sneeze comes, remember what you're trying to do.”

“Nngh!” Arthur said, bobbing his head up and down in an attempt at agreeing. “Gonna... gonna sn-sneeze... ehhhh quiet-huh quietly. Heh! Hehhh!” Merlin gave Arthur's beautifully twitching nose one more jab with the blade of grass and that was all it took. “Hah! HAH! AHHHHH-HAHHKKKTGNXXttttttttt!”

It was, without a doubt, the worst attempt at reigning in a sneeze Merlin had ever heard. And, at the same time, he had never wanted Arthur more.

“Didn't... hahh...  didn't work that time. Sniff! Try again.” He rubbed two fingers boyishly at his nose to ready it, then tilted his head back, waiting for Merlin to tease his nose again.

Merlin did not hesitate. He switched nostrils, spinning and tickling, and this time the sneeze came faster. “hah-engg... ehh-ngg... heh-hah-hah-HAHHH-EHPTSchptccccccc” Arthur gasped and moaned, rubbing his forehead and the bridge of his nose.  “Harder than I thought,” he murmured. “Do it again?”

His hand almost shaking with his excitement, Merlin inserted a blade of grass and twirled it around, but Arthur did not sneeze at once. His nostrils flared and eyes watered. Then he tilted his head and his nostrils flared more violently. “I can feel it... heh! Feel the tickle way back in... hah! Back in my n-nose. Hah! Yes... that's.. hehh! That's it. Hah! Hah! Just... like that... heh-eh! Ehhh! Make me... hahhh! Make me sneeze! Hehhhhh-ehh-EHHH-HEHHHHHH-HAHAHHHHPTSCHOOOOOOO!” Arthur wiped his hand at his eyes and then his nose. “Was that any softer sniff do you think?”

Chewing on his bottom lip, Merlin shook his head. “I'm sorry.”

Arthur huffed in frustration. “Show me how you do it?”

“It's just the way I sneeze. I can't help it,” Merlin replied. He took another blade of grass and invaded his own nostrils. Already sensitive from his cold, it didn't take a second to feel that tell-tale tickle rise up. His tongue pushed against his bottom teeth as his mouth dropped open. “eh-eh-ehhhh-ehgptshhhhh!” He caught the sneeze in his scarf, but only just in time. His nose dripped and itched, and he rubbed at it as he noticed Arthur staring longingly at him.

“I want to sneeze like that.” Arthur practically pouted.

Merlin's heart raced hard and fast. He couldn't believe Arthur might actually be able to hear his words above its thumping when he replied, “Your sneezes are perfect just as they are. You just... need to stay away from mountains when you have a cold.”

This earned Merlin a sniffle-filled kiss. He nearly passed out a second time.

 

 

Five

Every royal family from every kingdom Merlin had ever heard of were in attendance tonight. Camelot's hall was so packed with tables, it was hard for the servants to move in-between the rows to do any serving of the food. There were so many guests in attendance that every spare servant was serving, even Merlin. There were a hundred things he'd rather be doing than carrying vegetables, drumsticks, soup, and buns to a bunch of kings and queens. But he was glad for the job now so that he could keep an eye on Arthur.

Because King Arthur had a simply terrible head cold. But this event was of the utmost importance, so  couldn't call off the event and he couldn't be absent from it. Which meant he had no choice but to attend and try to pretend he wasn't as sick as he felt.

Merlin glanced Arthur's way and felt the need to rescue him. Poor Arthur's red nose twitched even as he scrubbed his knuckles repeatedly against it over and over again. No wonder it was so red and angry-looking. Merlin dropped the plate he'd been carrying onto the table more hastily than he'd intended then walked back to the kitchen by way of the grand table in the center of the hall. He caught Arthur's eye and Arthur looked imploringly back at him. Merlin leaned over and said, softly, “Gaius has a balm to reduce the soreness. I can apply it to your nose later.”

Arthur nodded, looking grateful. He had asked Merlin for every remedy available, and Merlin had done what he could. But the only real cure for a bad cold was rest, and Arthur wasn't getting much of that, not with an all-night banquet tonight and an all-day meeting tomorrow. So Arthur sniffled and snuffled through the meal and the longest ceremony known to man.

Each kingdom had brought a tribute to share with everyone. There were bards singing songs, jesters doing tricks, platters of delicacies, elaborate dances, stories of heroism, displays of fighting skills. And through it all, Arthur tried to not sneeze.

“hahhh...” But he couldn't stop every sneeze. And they both knew how good Arthur was at sneezing quietly. From across the hall, Merlin could hear Arthur's build-up. “HAHHhhhh...” Scrubbing desperately at his nose was of no help. And Merlin, surrounded by people, couldn't go over and press his fingers to Arthur's nose, not that that always worked to help him. “HAHHHH! AHHH! UHHHH... HAHH-HAH-EEESCHHOOOOO!”

Everyone in the hall heard. Everyone in the hall either jumped or looked at King Arthur or both. He pressed a handkerchief to his nose and raised a hand to all in apology, but his cheeks flushed red from unwanted attention. Arthur looked determined to not sneeze again. He tried to focus on the dancers twirling in front of him.

Merlin knew from experience that, no matter how hard Arthur tried, he wouldn't be able to hold in his sneezes for long. He'd been doing a decent job in not sneezing much, in heading the urge off with some proper attention to his nose, rubbing and scrubbing the tickle away. But now he faced a challenge Merlin was absolutely sure would do him in: flowers.

They were not just any flowers. These were chrysanthemums. To the best of Merlin's knowledge, there were no other flowers on earth that made Arthur sneeze as much as chrysanthemums. He remembered all too well the time Gaius had some of them in their quarters when Arthur stopped by with a request. Arthur's nose had twitched the second he had walked in. Watching Arthur sneeze in rapid-fire, nonstop uncontrollable sneezes, Merlin wished every room in the castle could be decorated with these exotic flowers. But as wonderful as it would be to hear Arthur completely lose it again and sneeze his head off, Merlin knew this wouldn't end well in front of so many people.

Merlin saw Arthur's eyes widen in recognition as the flowers were presented. Two young maidens from one of the kingdoms carried bunches so big you couldn't see the women behind them. They placed the flowers on a pedestal not far from the table where Arthur sat, gave a polite curtsy, and retreated.

Arthur's poor, sneezy nose didn't stand a chance. Already it was twitching. Already he was rubbing it and trying to look like he didn't have to sneeze when it was obvious that was all he was thinking of doing. Merlin knew he had to do something, or Arthur would die of embarrassment in front of all. The only solution was to distract everyone with even more embarrassment.

So Merlin grabbed an empty platter to return it to the kitchen, by way of the floral display. He timed it to coincide with Arthur's next sneeze. “hahhhh...” Merlin could tell he was trying to hold it back, but the sneeze was just too big to be denied. He loved that about Arthur's sneezes, though he knew Arthur dreaded sneezing in front of so many people in such a formal setting. “HAH! HAH-UHKJDSCHHHHHH!”



People jumped or gasped in surprise. Merlin, however, pretended that the sneeze had really caught him off guard. He angled his foot in just the wrong way and tripped, sending it flying backward and crashing to the floor not far from where he hit the floor. The stone was hard, cold, and actually smarted a bit, though not nearly as much as he pretended it did. Merlin writhed around, moaning and clutching his leg. When he looked up, he was pleased to see Arthur on his feet, looking down at Merlin with unbridled fury that did not extend to his eyes. In those blue eyes there was amusement and something like gratitude, even as he called Merlin all sorts of names beginning with “clumsy oaf” and ending in “pathetic excuse for a servant.”

“I can clear him off, Sire,” said Percival, rising to his feet as well.

However, Arthur threw out a hand to hold him off. “I will deal with him. I'll be but a moment.” He made a great show of angrily storming around the table, grabbing hold of Merlin, and hauling him out of the hall.

Merlin limped and kept up pretenses until they were out of the hall and round the corner. Then Merlin began laughing and Arthur wasted no time in burying his nose in Merlin's red scarf. “hahh-CHIHSHHHH!” The sneeze was strong and booming, but muffled enough that Merlin suspected no one back in the hall could hear it. At least, he hoped that was the case, because he didn't stop with just one sneeze. “hah-UHHKTCHHOOOOO! Hap-TIHSHHHHOOOO! H'KTCHOOO!”

Merlin stroked the back of Arthur's head, providing what comfort he could and reassuring him that this was all right, that he didn't mind being sneezed on, that the important thing was just to let these sneezes go to satisfy the tickle in his nose.

“Those... those flow... hah-UMMPHSHOOO! Flowers... I just cad't helb... hah-hah-EIHHTCHOOO! helb it. By dose burds!”

“Oh Arthur.”  Merlin's fingers massaged the back of Arthur's scalp. His own breath came in short gasps.

“hah... hahhhhhhh... deed to... hahhhhhh! get the huh tickles out... hahhhh! AH! AH! AHH! AH-HAH! Ahhhhhhhhhh... HAH-HUHSHOOOOOOO! HAPTCHOOO! HUH-KUHTCHOOO!” He turned his head slightly to get a new, dry spot and ended up with his nose against Merlin's neck. Merlin's heart raced as Arthur wound up again. “hahhh... HAH... UHHHKTCHhhhhhhhhhh!” The spray was cool and wet and so strong. He wanted Arthur so bad now, banquet be damned.

“Arthur?”

At once, Arthur jumped back from Merlin, coughing and sniffling and not being able to look up at Lancelot, who had found them.

Lancelot had a knowing smile on his face. “They are waiting for you.”

“You will be all right,” Merlin told his king. “Everyone catches cold from time to time. They'll understand if you have to sneeze, even if your sneezes are so loud they startle servants into dropping things and destroying floral arrangements.” Careful to avoid touching Arthur's poor nose, Merlin swooped in and pressed his lips to Arthur's. “I will return in a few minutes, limping a little, to keep an eye on you.”

Arthur gave Merlin a grateful smile.

 

 

One

Merlin rushed into the king's chambers, eyes wide with urgency. “Arthur, we have to go right now. There isn't a moment to lose.” He began rounding up some of Arthur's clothes and putting them in a bag.

From under the blankets, there was a cough and a light sniffle. “Berlid?”

It sounded like his cold had gotten worse during the three hours Merlin had been gone, making arrangements. And even though Merlin wanted nothing more than to drop everything and crawl under the covers of his bed with Arthur, wrap his arms around his lover, and let him sneeze until this cold was out of his system, what Merlin actually did was finish packing the bag for Arthur and start on one for himself. “We have to go right away. I'm so sorry.”

After another sniffle, Arthur's head appeared above the blankets. “For odce cad I dot be ill id beace?” Peace was not easy to find for a king. “Why does it always have to be a toudabedt or a badquet or sub quest? Cad't ode of the dights take care of it?”

Merlin shook his head. “It's a crisis. It's got to be you. But I'll come with you.” He dumped an entire stack of soft, white handkerchiefs into his back. “And I'll try to keep you as comfortable as possible.”

Selfless and noble, Arthur pulled himself out of his sickbed and shuffled about, getting dressed in the warm clothes Merlin had laid out for him, even though it was a beautiful, balmy summer day in Camelot. Twenty minutes later, they were on horses, riding out through the castle gates. Arthur clutched the reins in one hand and a handkerchief in the other. To Merlin's eyes, he looked determined but utterly miserable.

“hahhh!” Arthur screwed up his face, trying not to sneeze. Apparently he didn't want to be seen riding through his kingdom, sneezing. Merlin dug his heels into the sides of his horse to quicken their pace. It would help a little, but not enough. “hahhh!” Merlin looked over his shoulder just in time to see Arthur pitch forward in the saddle. “hahh-HIHTCHUHHHHHhhhhh!” Merlin had been expecting it, but the horses had not. Merlin's startled, racing ahead a few steps. Arthur's, however, reared and tried to throw him off. But Arthur held on tight, already leaning forward in his saddle from the sneeze, and he stayed on as his horse calmed back down.

After the third time this happened, Merlin stopped his horse and dismounted. He walked back to Arthur and held out a hand, gesturing for Arthur to join him on the ground in the middle of the village they were passing through. After a bit of hand-squeezing and urging, they carried on, with Arthur's horse weighed down with their bags and Arthur seated in front of Merlin on Merlin's horse. When Arthur felt the need to sneeze, breath catching and racing, Merlin rubbed his arm through his cloak reassuringly and held him close to keep him on his saddle. And even though Arthur's reaction was still to try to hold back, his sneezes, as usual, could not be contained. “HAHHH-UHHHPTShhhhhhhhh! Hahhh-KIHTCHOOO!”

They rode for most of the afternoon with few breaks. Finally, Merlin slowed them and stopped. “This is it. This is the spot.” He slid off the horse and helped Arthur down as well. The man was shivering, despite the warmth of the day. He pulled out his sword, wanting to be ready. “You won't need that.”

“hahhh-HAH-AHHTCHUHHHHHHH!” The sneeze was so loud, it frightened a bird out of a nearby tree. It took flight, heading toward the sun, which was slowly sliding down toward the horizon. Arthur snuffled against the side of his hand, confused, then slid his sword back into its sheath. “What are we doidg out here, Berlid?”

It was telling how ill Arthur must feel, because this was the first time he had actually thought to ask what was going on.

Merlin began unpacking the saddlebags.  “Well, I don't know about you, but I'm setting up camp before it gets dark.”

“But what is the big ebergedcy?”

Merlin turned to Arthur with a self-satisfied smile. “There is none. I just wanted you out here.”

Arthur's blue eyes widened then filled with outrage. There was no arguing with him when he used his commanding tone of voice. “Get those bags back od the horse. If we start back ibbediately, we still wod't be back at Cabelot before sudset.”

“That is the point.” Merlin made absolutely no move to pack back up. “We have the whole woods to ourselves. You can sneeze as much and as  loudly as you need to. There's no one to be bothered by your sneezing as far as the eye can see.”

“Excebt you.”

“I said no one who will be bothered by it.”

“You're dot bothered by it?”

“Bothered is not the word I would use to describe how I feel about your sneezes.”

Arthur considered this a moment, not understanding. How could he possibly understand? “Well... what word would you use?”

Merlin knew a thing or two about keeping secrets from Arthur Pendragon. And, just now, he knew it was time to tell one of them. “I would call them arousing,” he said toward the saddlebags, his cheeks flushing as violently red as Arthur's did when he had to sneeze in front of anyone else and couldn't help it. But Merlin couldn't help this. Surely Arthur would understand? Taking a chance, Merlin glanced back at Arthur.

And Arthur smiled back at him. “Really? You like theb?”

Merlin let out a deep breath he hadn't even realized he had been holding. “I love them.”

Arthur stepped closer. “Add you brought be out here to have theb all to yourself?”

“I brought you so you wouldn't have to be embarrassed.” Merlin flinched as Arthur reached out suddenly and stroked his finger against Merlin's flushed cheek. Then, as if struck by inspiration, he moved in closer and touched the tip of his nose to Merlin's cheek. When Merlin made no move to stop him, he nuzzled in even closer, hands at Merlin's waist, and his sniffly nose against Merlin's warm skin.

Merlin's body reacted instantly, rising and yearning and lusting. He grew so warm and tingly he thought he might be on fire. But the cool wetness on his cheek kept him grounded. “I need to... to set up camp. Then... then I need you. And I'll need you to sneeze for me. Can you do that?”

Arthur pulled back, showing Merlin his smile. “You were right. By dights could't have dode this.”

“It needed to be you,” Merlin agreed. “You with this amazing cold in your nose.” He put his hands on Arthur's arms and steered him to a tree, helping him to sit down. “Rest while I unpack?” He pressed a clean handkerchief into Arthur's hands. “All right?”

Arthur snuffled into the cloth and nodded, agreeing. He looked beat, just from the ride. Merlin wasn't too surprised; Arthur's head colds always took a lot out of him. For a minute, Merlin started to doubt that this was a good idea at all. But then... “hah-ah-uhhhh... huh-ehhhhhhh! Uhhhhhh-HUHSHHHUHHHHHH!” The involuntary sound of lust that Merlin uttered made Arthur chuckle. “That exblaids what I felt pressig agaidst be while we were riding.”

Feeling reassured, Merlin unhooked their bedrolls from the horse and spread them out across the ground. He opened up his pack and rooted through it, pulling out cups and cooking gear, food, and other things they would need.

“It seebs you brought all of Cabelot.”

Merlin looked over to see Arthur spread out on the blankets, already getting comfortable. Already welcoming Merlin to join him.

From his bag, Merlin finally pulled out a roll of parchment. He unrolled it and a quill pen fluttered gracefully to the ground. Merlin snatched it up and twirled it between his thumb and forefinger. “I brought handkerchiefs and tea and blankets and everything but ink.”

It took a second, but Arthur's eyes widened again in realization. His nostrils flared both with excitement and to sniff a strong sniff. “By dose is so ticklish,” he told Merlin. “You'd be careful with that feather.”

“Mmm,” Merlin agreed, settling down by straddling Arthur. He angled the very end of the fluttery feather toward Arthur's nose and slipped it in. “Oops.”

Arthur gave a shudder and an involuntary “huff!” as his body tried to expel the tickly irritant. The sharp prick and tickle made his eyes water. But, after a second, it seemed to also make him need to sneeze.

As he wiggled the feather about, Merlin took out a fresh, soft handkerchief. At once, Arthur went for it, but Merlin held it out of reach. “Tell me when you're about to sneeze, and I'll hold it to your nose for you... if I am convinced you've earned it.”

Arthur groaned, and Merlin moved the handkerchief back even further. He remembered tickling Arthur's nose before, with the blade of grass, but that had been at Arthur's urging. This time it was Merlin's idea and Merlin was in complete control, a rare occurrence in their relationship. So he was determined to enjoy every second of it.

“ohhhhhhh” Arthur exhaled, trying to hilt his head back to get away from the feather, the the ground beneath him did not give. “I feel it ticklidg. It cad't... it wod't stob. I'll sdeh-sdeeze hahhhh... if you do-hahhh! He blinked up at Merlin, locking his gaze with watering, needy eyes. “If you dod't stob, I'll sdeeze so hah  so hard add wet add...”

“Loud,” Merlin finished for him on just a single, soft breath.

“Yes,” Arthur agreed. But there was no trace of embarrassment in his face now, and suddenly Merlin was overcome with relief that he had finally confessed this secret. Arthur was not only willing but... was that a smile? Was he enjoying this? Well, not for long. Merlin pulled the feather. out

Its light touch as Merlin danced it around the outside of Arthur's nose made the man gasp, but not sneeze. This was torture—though the best kind. The kind that made Merlin so hard he wanted nothing but to lean forward and press his erection into Arthur's thigh and cling there, listening to sneezes as he came. The kind that made Arthur hard as well. Every time Merlin stroked his cheek or squeezed his arm or let that light, fluttery feather tease his nose, Arthur's cock gave a great twitch, straining in his pants.

“hahhh! Hahhhh-ahhh! Sniff!” He began, then backed off, shaking. “Berlid... I wadt... I wadt to sdeeze so badly. Hahhh! Uhuhhhh! Hehh-Uhhhhhhhh!” Merlin pulled the feather back and Arthur groaned in frustration. “I'b... I'b...” But what he was was lost to a sudden, explosive sneeze. “hahhh-GIHTSCHHHHHOOOOO!”  Followed almost immediately by more. So many more that Merlin could hardly contain himself. “Hahh-UHHHTCHHHOOOO! KUH-HUHSCHHHOOO! UHGTSCHHHHH! HAHHP'TIHSHHOOOO!”

Both gasping, weak, and needy, Merlin was entirely unprepared when Arthur wrapped his arms around him and rolled him over onto the blankets. Then Arthur took advantage of Merlin being stunned to bury his nose squarely in the handkerchief. He gave a soft, delicious sniffle then blew his nose. This time, Merlin moaned. And Arthur smiled slyly. “Could't helb it. This cold... add your touch. Oh, Berlid, I have to sdeeze so buch bore.”

Arthur reached down, not for the handkerchief, but for the buttons on Merlin's shirt. “I deed subthig to sneeze idto.” Merlin raised the handkerchief, but Arthur shook his head. “I already used that. I deed hehhh subthig dew. I deed... I... I ahhhhh I deed... hahh-AHHHH... AHHHHHH!” He leaned forward and buried his nose in the folds of Merlin's open shirt. “HAH-HAH-TISHCHOOOOO!” The spray caught Merlin's bare chest, and the trail of Arthur's sniffy wet nose down his chest afterward had Merlin dropping the handkerchief and burying his fingers into Arthur's thick blond head of hair with an encouraging touch.

“So sdeezy,” Arthur murmured. “I cad't hold theb back at all dow.” Arthur raised his head just enough to look up at Merlin. “You dow I cad't.” Then his head snapped down, nose pressing into the crotch of Merlin's pants. “Hahh-HAHKTCHHHOOO!” Sniffling, Arthur's fingers undid the strings of the pants, loosening them before pulling them down carefully but hastily to reveal Merlin's hard member springing up at him. It was only a second before Arthur felt the next sneeze coming on, so he nuzzled his face into the dark nest of hair at the base of Merlin's cock and let loose. “UHHH-HIHHHGTCHOOOO! HEHSHOOO! Hahhhhhh... Hahhh-IHHBTSCHOOO!” Nose still twitching, he raised his head and dragged his nose along the tender shaft of Merlin's cock. Then “HAHHH-AHSCHUHHHH! HUH'TSHUHHHH! Hehh-IHHH... It's... it's big... hahhhh! So tickly.” The tip of his nose teased the tip of Merlin's cock, both just a little wet and both just a little quivering with anticipation. “I... I have to... hahhhh! Have to sdee... sdeeeee-HAHHH-HAHHHHHH-EH-EH-EHHHHH-HEHHKUHTCHSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhh!”

Merlin came crying out with unrestrained passion. Arthur was holding him. Arthur was touching him. Arthur was sneezing on him. Arthur was letting him live out his most private desire. And Arthur was still sneezing.

“HEH-TISHHHHH! Hahh-HUH-HUHTCHHHHH!”

Gasping again, Merlin grabbed the handkerchief and pressed it to Arthur's nose and mouth.

“HAH-IMPTSHHHHHHHH! HEH-KUHTMMPHHHHHH! HEHSHHHFFFFFFFFF!”

Merlin massaged Arthur's poor nose for him, rubbing out the very last of the tickles, at least for now. Then he pulled at Arthur's shirt, yanking upward until Arthur lay beside him, arms wrapped around each other. “Bless you,” Merlin said, his face buried in Arthur's shirt. Arthur laughed, making both their bodies shake.  Stroking the back of Arthur's head and tending to Arthur's nose with the handkerchief, they spoke in hushed tones. “You know, it wasn't all your fault.”

Arthur blinked back at him. “What wasd't?”

“All those times you were ill... getting captured by the necromancer's army, the avalanche... it probably would have happened even if you hadn't sneezed. And then there was that time with the knights and that herb...” None of them had ever spoken of that time.  “I gave you all the wrong herb by mistake. That was my fault.”

“So I cad codtidue to blabe all of by failures od you? Very good.”

Merlin smiled. “You can use me in whatever way best pleases you, my king.”

Arthur makes a sound that was not quite a groan and not quite a growl but was completely filled with lust. Lust... and a sniffle as well. “Do you have ady of that herb?”

Shaking his head, “I promise you... we don't need it  All we need is for you to keep sneezing like that,  Every time you do, it does such things to me. So don't stop, don't hold back, and don''t try to quiet them.“

“That's huh... the easiest quest I've ever udertaken. Huhhhh...” He snuffled past the handkerchief, pressing his nose into Merlin's neck. “Frob dow od... HUH! I wod't. HUHHHH... Frob dow od, I'll sdeeze every HUHH! every sdeeze just for hah for you.” Merlin tingled with desire as he felt Arthur's nostrils twitch against him, then let out another, loud  “HAH-UHTCHHUHHHHH!”

In the middle of the woods, no one else was around to hear Arthur's sneezes. And, likewise, no one else was there to hear Merlin's moans of pleasure.